Thursday, September 1, 2011
Leaving Port and Pushing out to Sea
It is hard to say why I have restarted my blog after an absence of almost a year and a half with this totally dated picture. I actually uploaded this old photo at random and posted it to see what thoughts it would generate.
The two characters in this picture are my father with the flower in his lapel and his little brother, my Uncle Paul, both highly tempremental and understandably dysfunctional holocaust survivors. The picture is taken in the Winter of 1970 when I was 24 years old at my wedding to Linda Schoenfeld at her aunt's house in New York.
From looking at this snapshot so many divergent thoughts run through my mind that it is difficult to develop even the simplest of comments. Of course, my father and uncle are long dead and my marriage to Linda ended abruptly in 1978.
It would make interesting reading to express something revealing, pithy or salacious about myself or any of the above mentioned folks in order to make this post worthwhile and that, of course, presumes that any reader has even the slightest voyeuristic interest in my life.
That being said, I realize that, above all things, a feeling of lonliness and sadness is overcoming me, caused by the knowledge that I can never listen to these important men in my life who would have so much information to give me about issues I care about today.
In addition the picture reminds me that on the day it was taken, my wedding day, I had a fever of 102 due to the flu. My illness robbed me of even the slightest joy at the event. I was dizzy, overwrought by emotion and feeling once again star-crossed. My secret voice kept pounding me with the question of why I had to be a mess at this landmark moment of my life. I cursed myself and hid my inner pain. All the wedding pictures give testimony to a pale-faced boy struggling to look happy.
Well Ahoy... I am flotsam bobbing through calm and maelstom these next months. In a week at this time I will be flying to Colombia and eager to report whenever I can.
I will do my best to answer comments and visit other blogger sites whenever I have connectivity. I appreciate so much any connection. It is going to be strange out there.